The Gift of Presence

The gift of presence: That is the recurring thought and feeling I had the whole month of December. Several people I knew, or who were related to people I know, died in December. I found myself sitting with several grieving people during the season of Advent/Christmas. I found myself sitting also with people who had lost someone dear earlier in the year and for them, this would be their first Christmas without that beloved one. Before I did my Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) Chaplaincy training some years back and received a little more counseling training and before I became a pastor, I found sitting with grieving people more difficult than I do now. There was a need in me to “fix” the situation; to say something profound which somehow would take the pain away and make things “right.” I was uncomfortable with silence; with people’s pain and tears; with my own emotions being stirred by their pain. There was a need in me to “do something” and move on quickly away from the situation.

I soon realized that there was nothing I could say to take the pain away; nothing I could do to “fix” the situation; nothing I could do to bring a loved one back. I felt very helpless and inadequate.
But then people would be appreciative and often they would hug me to thank me for being there. They would say things like “it means so much that you are here.” This would puzzle me because I did not “do anything”, I was just there. And then I started to have a better understanding of the gift of presence; the gift of listening; the gift of holding someone when they cry… This gift comes into fuller fruition with the ability to be present to the moment.

Nowadays, I don’t mind silence so much; I don’t feel the need to “fix” things as I used to. I receive the emotions that people share with me with gratitude and hold their pain, and vulnerability and trust as a precious, fragile gift. I receive the emotions that others’ pain foster in me with awe because it means that God gave me a heart and the ability to care deeply. Being able to be present when people go through the tough moments in life is incredibly humbling.

I have been the recipient of the gift of presence recently as I am undergoing tests and am now waiting for the results. God is incredibly present throught people and the words of comfort they give, even when most don't know what a blessing they are.

I think about this gift of presence as we celebrated Advent and the Christmas season. I think about it as I look at this new year ahead of us. I believe there is a longing in all of us for this Presence which offers what the world cannot offer. We sang “O Come, O Come Emmanuel” (one of my favorite Advent hymns). There is a verse that we rarely sing which says, “O come, thou Key of David, come, and open wide our heavenly home. The captive from their prison free, and conquer death’s deep misery.”
This season, but also all year long, we must tell the world that this Presence who transforms, heals and sets people free from their man-made prison and from death is Jesus. We tell the folks we come in contact with through the way we live, through the way we love; through the way we give and through the way we die.



I am not sure where the tradition of making New Year’s resolutions comes from. In years past I used to make the resolution to loose weight (along with half the nation I am sure) and after February I soon gave that up. It will happen. It is happening but it is no longer a New Year’s resolution.
My resolution and prayer this year and every year to come is to become ever more present to people and be more open to the Presence, Jesus. He is the gift of Presence. The One we long for. Amen.

HisSpace.com

12/28/08 sermon - Luke 2:41-52

You know I am realizing a little more every day that I am getting older and that there are a lot of things around me that I don’t quite get but that I find fascinating nevertheless. A couple of these things are iPods and MP3s (I guess these are the same thing, aren’t they?): I remember buying LPs (33 rpm) and 45s (you know, the vinyl records with a big hole in the middle). I remember when cassette tapes were big and then when they faded away as old dinosaurs when the CDs came out. Now you can’t even give these things away. I guess I was good this year because I got an MP3 player for Christmas! :) I spent some time these past few days charging it and learning how to load songs into it. Pretty cool!

The other thing I find interesting is the phenomenon of websites like MySpace.com and Facebook and Blogs. Somewhere in cyberspace I have a MySpace account. That one was started for me by a youth at a former church I served a couple of years back. I have been invited by several friends to sign into Facebook. So I have one of those too somewhere. The sad part is that I am not sure how to get back on these accounts or how to post anything there. I have a blog now also you know. The good news is that I know where that blog account is and I know how to post texts, and pictures and videos on there too. Whether anybody is looking at my blog is another story. I learned to text from my cell phone this year too. (our youth is looking at me funny by then, like duh...) Communication sure has changed since I was a teen. These are signposts for a relational revolution which I think already started with emails.

Sites like MySpace or Facebook are sites where anyone can post information, pictures, preferences and musing by and about themselves.
On a quick aside, I read in a 12/17/08 Elkhart Truth article that an Australian court has ruled in favor of a mortgage lender using Facebook to contact delinquent payers. I wonder how long it will be before this is legal in America. Makes you think twice about using MySpace or Facebook, doesn’t it?)

While these are designed for people 16 or older, increasing numbers of preteens have been logging on too, declaring or manufacturing their identities for the world to see. On the surface, it seems kind of innocuous. Users can arrange themselves into groups by interest, musical preferences, hobbies, schools and the like. The interactions take place in ways that our kids love and that PC (that would be Pre-Computer – I fall in that category – yikes!) mistrust to varying degrees. On an aside I remember sitting in front of my first computer, an early Apple computer, in business school, holding a floppy diskette and wondering what to do with it. This was 1983 or 84.
Blogs, instant messaging, chat rooms, MySpace and Facebook: In a sense, these have created a virtual community where everyone can participate. The danger we are finding more and more is when predators, like child molestors and pedophiles, enter these sites and pretend to be what they are not. And that is one of the problems some parents and educators have with this. Anyone can participate and not everyone is whom they say they are.

Everyone’s identity is self-generated, which encourages embellishment at the least and outright falsehood at the most. Places like MySpace tap into one of the key tasks of childhood, adolescence and young adulthood, which is discovering one’s identity. Laura Kastner, a Seattle-based adolescent psychologist, says that the popularity of MySpace among young teens “makes perfect sense developmentally because of their burgeoning identity. They can try out different identities and make them up along the way.”



One almost teen we find today in our Scripture text is Jesus and he is growing into his identity and trying to figure things out like any other young person. This is an important passage in the gospel story. At that time, it was laid down by law that every adult male Jew who lived within twenty miles of Jerusalem must attend the Passover feast (The celebration of the Jews being liberated from slavery in Egypt after the Spirit came over the country and killed every first born child of each family, except for the families which had smeared lamb’s blood over their door frame and thus were sparred.) In fact it was the aim of every Jew in all the world at least once in a lifetime to attend that feast. A Jewish boy became a man when he was 12 years old. Then he became a son of the law and had to take the obligations of the law upon him. So at 12 Jesus, for the first time, went to the Passover celebration. Can you imagine what that must have felt like to be in the big city of Jerusalem during Passover for the first time for this country boy? All the sounds and smells and the cheer number of people present. And experiencing the Temple and the sacrifices… This is the only boyhood story of Jesus that is recorded in the canonized (accepted) Scripture. There are some crazy stories found in the Gnostic Gospel of Thomas.
(see http://www.earlychristianwritings.com/infancythomas.html)

When his parents returned home, Jesus lingered behind.
On an aside (I know, another one), I always wondered how come Jesus’ parents did not miss him until they were a day’s travel out of town. But they were not as careless as might first appear to us. Large groups traveled together. Usually the women in a caravan started out much earlier than the men for they traveled more slowly. The men started later and traveled faster and the two sections would not meet until the evening encampment was reached. It was Jesus’ first Passover. No doubt Joseph thought he was with Mary and Mary thought that Jesus was with Joseph.

For the Passover season it was the custom for the Sanhedrin (the High Jewish Court) to meet in public in the Temple court to discuss, in the presence of all who would listen, religious and theological questions. It was there that Mary and Joseph found Jesus. Luke says that he sat among the religious teachers, listening to them and asking questions. (v. 2:46) He is trying to figure who he is and we realize that he has started to find out. When Mary asks, “Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been frantic, searching for you everywhere” (v. 48), Jesus answered in the most natural way, as if the whole thing was obvious, “But why did you need to search? Didn’t you know that I must be in my Father’s house?” (v. 49)

What we learn from a 12 year old! Not only was he starting to understand WHO is was but he also understood WHOSE he was early on. This is a good reminder for our children but also for all of us adults: Our real identity, our authentic self are not something we create. Instead, we find our true value and purpose in vital relationship with God. What we’re talking about here is not our need for self-invention or reinvention, it’s about the discovery of self that can be fully realized only through relationship with God through Jesus. It’s when we move from MySpace to HisSpace that we discover who we really are and who we are destined to become.

I got an email invitation a few days ago from a friend inviting me along with others friends to join an online-based book group. As I understand it, the discussions, instead of happening face to face, would happen online. I will have to think about that one for a little while. For one, I am trying to get back to a book group I belonged to but stop attending because of my ordination work and too many moves. My other hesitation is that I spend too much time on the internet and e-mails already. I need more face to face contacts and relationships with people.



I believe that the proliferation of sites like MySpace and Facebook and blogs are an indication that we are a relationship-starved society. Things move too fast. People are too busy and our attempt to connect on-line tells me that people are more lonely and more disconnected than ever before. Families are fragmented and distant (geographically and emotionally). Email can be a great thing but it seems to me that people are also trying to feel connected, to feel a sense of belonging, by forming virtual families and friends. There is something a little sad about that. I believe the local church can fill that void and that hunger for relationship and provide a real community instead of a virtual one.

While I can understand how MySpace and Facebook can be a lot of fun - with proper attention to security risks - it cannot define who or whose we are. Virtual relationships on the web can never replace genuine, face to face, heart to heart relationships, especially with the One who made us and love us more than anybody possibly can.

As we are about to enter a new year, I think we need to ask ourselves who we are and who we will be but most importantly we need to ask ourselves WHOSE we are and WHOSE we will be.

Jesus chose to base his identity on the Father and to follow His Father’s will. Will you?
Amen.

Punching Holes in the Darkness

Can you wear out a CD by playing it over and over again? There are a couples of songs from the group Casting Crowns' Christmas album that I have played over and over in my car as I am driving here and there. "I heard the bells on Christmas day" is one of them. Check out the video. It is not a new song. Henry W. Longfellow wrote the words after a series of absolutely heart-crushing losses.
Casting Crowns version has touched me at a level that I can't quite put into words. The kind of words, the kind of music which make me feel like singing along at the top of my lungs and drop down on my knees at the same time. The part that says "God is not dead, nor does He sleeps" sends good chills down my spine. A breath of fresh air in my lungs. Do you understand that?
Well, I sang my heart out in the car and I had a ball. Did not care a bit what people might think as I am driving by. I am worshipping and I worship best when I sing.

To me these songs capture what we are celebrating this season of Christmas, but not only this season, I hope, but all year long: The answer to the deepest longing of the human heart; A piercing light in the darkness of this crazy world; A light which lights the most broken corners of our souls... A light that reminds us that we are not alone. Jesus!

This has been an incredible month of Advent/Christmas. I had the priviledge of sitting with people as they died; to sit with the families as they mourned; to officiate at a celebration of life for a former parishioner... There is something incrediby precious and humbling about being allowed in at these times.




God is with us. God is for us. God is in us. Emmanuel! That's the other song I have worshipped with these past few weeks.
I sat and worshipped at a longest night/blue Christmas service offered by a local church just a few days ago. I talked with a couple of people I had never met before the service and they opened up some about what brought them there. We were all linked by losses but in the midst of our pain we wanted to trust/we trusted deep down that there is hope. THERE IS HOPE! God is with us. God is for us. God is in us. Emmanuel!

Our service at the church that I serve was wonderful last night. We are small. We don't have the bells and whistles of other bigger congregations but it did not matter. The service was beautiful in its simplicity. The words of the greatest story ever told resonated in our hearts. The tunes of familiar carols echoed in the sanctuary. We were on holy ground. Our faces glowed by candlelight.

I attended another service at the church my grandmother Dorothy attended when she was alive; the church where I heard Jesus calling me and where I responded in fear and trepidation not knowing what was in store (God knew to give me just enough at a time or I would have ran the other way more than likely); the church where a beloved mentor and friend is serviing. It is a much bigger church and their last evening service was wonderful too. We shared bread and juice. The act of coming forth and holding my hand out to receive the elements as I watch the servers' faces always touches me in a deep place. The taste and texture of the bread and the sweetness of the juice combine on my tongue and remind me that Jesus gave his life for me and he keeps giving me Life. God is with us. God is for us. God is in us. Emmanuel!
As we lit our small candles for candlelight, my pastor friend reminded us that we are not only doing this because it is pretty - And it is beautiful whether 80 people are present or 500 - but we do this as a symbol of the light of Jesus coming to punch holes in the darkness.
I thought, YES! But we are the bearers of Jesus' light. Let's not stop at candles in a sanctury, OK? Let US BE the light of the world. Let the light God has placed in us burst forth out of us in the way we live; the way we love; the way we serve; the way we die!

Maybe this is as simple sometimes as visiting folks. I was tired before our worship service yesterday. I told myself I was going to rest all afternoon after being in the church office in the morning making sure things were ready for the evening and the following Sunday. Instead I found myself trying to get one more thing in. Frankly my heart was not really in it at the beginning.
I visited an elderly couple who are members of our church and shut-ins. Had a fruit basket put together by our missions women for them. They don't have much. Tiny house. Simple folks. We shared communion. My sense of tiredness started to lift from witnessing their sense of contentment despite a lot of health issues and meager resources; their gratitude at being alive despite their struggles overwhelmed me.

My last visit of the day was with an 84 year old man, a friend of my Dad's for the last almost 60 years. A former American GI who landed on the beaches of Normandy. He retired out west but is now back in town to be closer to family. Has a hard time adapting to his new surrounding at a local nursing home. I've known of him since I was 8. He never married. Has no kids. Used to teach German and French at a local military academy before retiring. As I talked with him, his mood lifted. We shared a chocolate from the package I had brought. Good chocolate not the cheap stuff. Savored it. Made it last on our tongue as we reminisced of better times for him. As I was ready to leave after a long talk, he started choking up and his eyes welled up. He held my hand as if he were not going to let it go. Said that his day was finishing better than it had started because of the visit.
A little light in the darkness. God is with us. God is for us. God is in us. Emmanuel!

Growing in Grace

Philippians 1:3-11; Luke 3:1-6 - This is an abreviated form of the sermon I preached at Bethel UMC on 12-7-08

A couple of verses have been with me all this past week: “Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him.” These words come out of Luke 3:4 and are originally from Isaiah 40:3 as the prophet predicted the coming of John the Baptist, who in turn announced the coming of Jesus. The other verse, which has been rattling in my brain, is out of Philippians 1:6, Paul’s letter to the Christians of Philippi (northern Greece): “And I am sure that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again.” (NLT)

As I look at the frozen and white world outside my study window and ponder on the events of my week, I turn these words in my mind and heart and realize anew several things that I will try to verbalize and share with you:

1 – Do you realize what an incredible story the Bible is? We have a God in whose image we are made. He gave us life. He came in the flesh in Jesus born of a virgin. He lived among us in the flesh. He gave his life for love, a love we will never totally wrap our heads around this side of Heaven. He rose again from the dead and lives again in us through the Spirit. He gave us His Word also so that we would have life abundant and eternal. Does this not just totally blow you away!?

2 - The other thing I realized again, in a new way, is that Jesus came to ordinary people, people like you and me.
Our passage in Luke starts by listing all the important people who were alive at the time John the Baptist was ready to start his prophetic ministry. In a short passage Luke manages to give us panoramic view of who the big wigs were at the time. He mentions the emperor Tiberius, the successor of the emperor Augustus. Luke mentions Pontius Pilate who was in power as Roman governor of Judea from A.D. 25 to A.D. 37. His arrival in Judea was actually the result of the Jews asking Rome for help in removing Archelaus – ruler of Judea, Samaria and Edom - the fourth son of Herod the Great. History remembers Archelaus as a thoroughly bad king. The high priest was at the same time the civil and the religious head of the community. Annas was actually high-priest from A.D. 7 to 14 so at the time he is out of office. His son-in-law, Caiphas, was in office, with Annas still a huge power behind the post.

After naming all these powerful people, we read that the word of God came to John. You remember John, the son of Zechariah the priest and of Elizabeth. Not what you would consider a big shaker and mover in the world. We’re not sure how John heard from God, but we soon find him preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sin in the desert and by the Jordan River.
The Christians in the church at Philippi were not big movers and shakers either but Paul writes to them and about them in a most personal letter. Paul’s letter just overflows with joy and love for those people. You can read more about the church at Philippi in Act 16. Philippi, a Roman colony, was where Paul had planted the first church on European soil, probably around A.D. 50., during his second missionary journey. The joyful and intimate tones of the letter are remarkable when you realize that Paul was under house arrest in Rome, while he awaited trial (4:10-18). This is a “thank-you” letter to the Philippians. They had been sending money to Paul to help defray his living expenses as he was imprisoned. It is also a letter of encouragement for them to continue to grow; for them to beware of false teachers and to urge them to greater unity among themselves.

Prepare the way for the Lord: What does that look like in your life and my life? How do we make straight paths for God to work on our heart? I think the first step is to recognize that you and I need God. We need to come to the realization that we were not meant to do life on our own. In our culture of self-reliant independence, not too many people, including yours truly, like to hear about needing anyone besides ourselves. But you and I cannot follow Jesus if we don’t recognize His lead. Along with that comes a surrendering of control. Again, not a popular concept in our society. The saying goes that if God is your co-pilot, you need to switch seat. The Christian word for this is repentance, turning away from ourselves and what takes precedence before God and turning toward God.

Make straight paths for him…: I think what Isaiah and John the Baptist mean here is that you and I need to look at what is tripping us up. What is preventing us from truly following Jesus? Do we control our tongue or does our tongue control us through gossips? Are you and I behaving in ways that are destructive both for ourselves and others; In ways that grieve the heart of God? Are you and I involved in relationships that are damaging and contrary to God’s will for our lives? Are you and I holding on to stuff that are preventing us from following Jesus? Are you and I treating and loving others like we want to be treated and loved; as Jesus models for us?

The stuff you and I are holding on to is not necessarily material things but it could also be hurt. Maybe we are chewing on the wound someone has inflicted to us long ago and we can’t get past the hurt. Maybe we are holding on to destructive pride. Maybe we refuse to forgive… What are you holding on to?
Jesus says that he came so we would have abundant life and live to the fullest extent. Holding on to stuff or hurts prevents us from experiencing the life God meant for us to have.

Paul writes, “And I am sure that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again.” (Phil. 1: 6, NLT). A life that is touched by Jesus should be a transformed life, a life that bears fruit. Galatians 5:22 talks about these fruit. Some of the fruits displayed by growing Christians should be, “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Are you cringing? I am because I fall short on many of these areas, especially patience. They are called Fruit of the Spirit because you and I cannot reach these on our own. When people look at us - see us live, hear us talk - can they tell we are followers of Jesus? Are we displaying fruit?
Did you notice that out of all the fruit of the Spirit, love is listed first? A mentor was telling me of a blessing he had heard a pastor offer to a group of other pastors a while back. Part of the blessing said, “Love like you have never been hurt.” When he said that I immediately thought of Jesus as he was nailed to that cross, in more pain than I can imagine, and yet he asked his Father to forgive us. You and I are called to love like that and we can’t love like that without Jesus working on our heart on a daily basis and without us being open to the Spirit’s working.

Some of us have said “yes” to Jesus but then like a seed being chocked by weeds, we stopped growing. We stopped bearing fruit. The busyness and worries of this world get the best of us. Our faith gets anemic. For some of us the seeds have grown dormant. Some of us are asleep. Pastor Maxie Dunnam, who was the president of Asbury Seminary in Kentucky, tells of a 3-year old little girl who fell out of bed in the middle of the night. Her cries awaken her mother in the next room and the mother runs hurriedly to her little girl’s room. She gathers her little child in her arms and attempts to kiss away the tears. Finally, she asks her little girl, “Honey, what happened?” Through sniffles and with tears still running down her cheeks, the little girl replies, “Mommy, I guess I fell asleep too close to where I got in.”

That’s the way it is with too many of us Christians. We went to sleep too close to where we got in. This results in lukewarm Christians, at best. We think that after we are justified, after we say “yes” to Jesus then we are home free. We think that we have our fire insurance policy and we’re done. But saying “yes” is the beginning of the journey. When we say we are Christians, followers of Jesus Christ, can people tell? We are called to make a difference in Jesus’ name around us, in this world. Are we? You and I are work in progress for sure but we are to grow in grace through Christ. Growth in grace is attractive. Are you and I attracting people to faith in Jesus and are people indifferent or even repulsed by what they see in us?

A friend was recounting the story of Mary being told by an angel that she would carry and give birth to the Son of God. And that angel told Mary not to be afraid (Luke 2). On an aside, have you noticed that pretty much every time an angel appears in a biblical story, the angel says not to be afraid. I am not certain but this could be to appease the heart and mind of those people who were steeped in the Old Testament belief that if you saw the face of God you would die. Or maybe the angels preface their announcements with “do not be afraid” because what they announce usually means change, big change, but they want to also remind us that we will not face those changes alone.

My friend wondered why we do not seem to see angels anymore; Those angels who talked to Mary and sang to the shepherds to announce the birth of a Savior in Bethlehem. Where have the angels gone? Then my friend asked out loud, “what if you and I are the angels? What if God is waiting on us to deliver His message?”

I don’t know about you but I do have some angels in my life right now helping me negotiate the changes in my life; reminding me of God’s presence. They don’t wear white robes. They don’t have wings or a halo above their heads. No, my angels wear Dockers and sweaters. My angels wear suits and dresses. Do you have angels in your life? Are you an angel in someone else’s life?

“Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him.” We are waiting for Jesus. If he came today, what would he find? Would he find people who are asleep and bored or people who are fully awake and growing in grace?

Life's Simple Little Pleasures

My husband Steve and I love cats. We have three: Two that we adopted from shelters and one that adopted us. Fluffy is 15 and she is a Texas cat. She’s done a lot of moving with us. PT is 3 (she looks just like Tacha, our 17 year old cat we had to put to sleep in 2005 because her kidneys were failing and the vet told us that was nothing more to do for her. We did have her anointed by a pastor friend and she lived 9 more months). PT was adopted from the Elkhart shelter and Salem is 4 and she adopted us. Fluffy can be a little cranky but otherwise we have the best dispositionned cats one could ever hope for.

One of the most delicious moments in my week is when I get to sit in my recliner on Sunday afternoon to read or take a nap. Invariably Salem comes to sit on me, or between my feet and she wants to be loved on for a while, or she just sits by me, watches me and purrs. There is something about petting a purring cat that is very soothing and calming.

I said that Salem adopted us and that is true. She showed up 3 years ago when I was serving a church in Granger. She was thin, very hungry and smelled of old garage rags because we found out that she slept in the neighbors’ old barn. After checking with these neighbors and others and finding out that no one was claiming her, we kept her. She is the sweetest cat. We named her Salem because she is all black, except for a little white on her chest and tummy and she “adopted” us a couple weeks before Halloween in 2005. She was also named after the church I served.

I love all our cats but there is a special bond with Salem. She seems to intuitively know when I need company and when I need to be left alone. Besides sitting on the recliner with me, she often comes into my office at home and sits on the desk by my laptop and watches me write. Once in a while she decides that I need a break from working so she purposefully lays on my sermon notes or my Bible and demands to be loved.

I remember a conversation some students and I had with one of our seminary professors several years ago about whether pets were going to Heaven or not. This professor said that it was bad theology to believe that pets would go to Heaven. All the students disagreed. If God created all living things why wouldn’t beloved animals go to Heaven? And if Heaven is Heaven, how can pets (along with Starbucks coffee and Belgian chocolates and good books :) ) not be part of it?

Revelation 5:13 talks about every creature in Heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea singing praises to the Lamb and I think Salem and PT and Fluffy will be in the bunch.