Relationships

I’ve been thinking about relationship a lot lately. More so these past few months than usual. Been thinking about my life and all the people in it. If it weren’t for relationships, I would not be here. A man and a woman came together so that I could be. Right there is the first miracle. Relationships have enabled me to be cared for and survive into adulthood. Relationships are an integral part of who I am and who I am becoming. We are all shaped for better or for worse by relationships.

I am not entirely sure what that is all about and what I am trying to write will probably sound a little messy. It is hard to put words to feelings often. Why I am thinking about all this now?
I think the holiday season has a part in this. Steve and I have just spent the past couple of days with a beloved sister-in-law and niece from Ohio. Steve’s youngest brother could not make it after all because he was on call working for a large national bank as a computer support technical person.
This particular sister-in-law is like a sister to me. We share the same birthday. She is a year younger. We have similar personalities and taste. She works in a helping/caring profession/vocation as a physical/rehab therapist in a nursing home. My whole calling as a pastor deals the complexities and intricacies and pain and joys that relationships generate. We are people persons. We share the love of learning and books. We love the outdoors and hiking. We enjoy museums. Often I start saying something or she does and we realize we were thinking the same thing. It’s really cool.
I think that I have been thinking about relationships because we are not close to any of our families. 5 hours away is the closest. My side of the family is all in France and this time of year is bittersweet because I miss them more than usual.

I have been thinking about relationships because some people around me have lost loved ones recently or are in the process of losing a loved one. I ache for them. I realize anew how precious relationships are and how quickly they can end. I realize anew how much I care about the people in my life and how too often I don’t take enough time to tell them how much I love them and how much they mean to me and how much they have helped make me who I am and who I am becoming. I don’t fully understand all this.

I have been thinking about relationships because I wonder why it is that some people enter your life to stay just briefly. Why is it that some stay for a lifetime and some for just a few months or years or even a few days. I have some people in my life that I don’t want to lose yet I sense that some are slipping away. What does that mean? Is their part in my life over? Is my part is their life done? Is it done for a time or for always? Can I prevent the relationship from fading into the past? I don’t know.

I have been thinking about relationships because a friend just shared recently in a blog that after years of unease, the relationship with one of his sisters has finally become unstuck. It’s taken years of trying to sit down and talk and not being able to somehow. I don’t know the details of all this, I just remember him mentioning this several times in the course of the years that I have come to know him better and the brokenness of the relationship was obviously a source of pain for him. I could empathize with him. I do rejoice with him at this new beginning.

I have been thinking about relationships because I have experienced a renewed relationship of my own with my father over the course of spending several weeks in France this summer. I am not entirely sure how our estrangement started. I think it involved more than the two of us. It’s a whole family system thing. I am not sure what finally got the whole thing unstuck. I had been praying a lot about it. Did I change? Did he change? God had and has a part in it, I am convinced. It’s still a work in progress. So I don’t understand everything that has and is happening but I believe it is good and I am very grateful.

I have been thinking about my relationship with God and how this has become an integral part of me, and my self-concept. I have been thinking that he made us for relationships, with others, with Him. Without these we would be dead physically and spiritually. Without Him I would be more of a mess than I already am sometimes.

I am grateful beyond words this season for all the people in my life. I am not always good at saying things, too often I keep what is in my heart to myself, but I want them to know that I love them and I want to get better at saying it.

Dear God, thank you so much for all the people you sent and keep sending into my life. I don’t understand fully how we are all related, what part we play in each others lives but, help me be mindful of the people you place in my path and help me be a blessing to them. Amen!